We Stand in the Middle 8

Wish You Were Here

Mar 12, 2024

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” ― Rumi

“Bentley!” Casey shouted, sounding at once hurt and indignant. Hearing his name, Bentley dropped to all fours, spun in half-circle to face Casey, and barked happily. “Come say hello you big goof,” Casey said, patting his knees. Bentley galloped over to Casey who immediately sat down and wrapped the dog in a bear hug. Much growling and wrestling ensued until Evan called it quits.

“Bentley,” Evan said sternly. “That’s enough.” Still panting and wagging his tail Bentley backed away from Casey and looked up at Evan.

“Aw, Uncle Evan you’re no fun,” Casey said, wiping dog slobber from his face with the back of his sleeve.

“You two can wrestle later,” Evan said. “We still need to sort out sleeping arrangements and get dinner started. Everyone grab your stuff and let’s go up to the house.”

As we turned to go get our bags, we discovered that Bentley had moved from wrestling to scrounging for food. He had his nose buried in Nigel’s backpack. “Oh no you don’t,” Nigel said, hurrying over and grabbing Bentley by the collar. Unfortunately for Nigel, Bentley is a very big dog (weighing in at 90 lbs) and not easily distracted. He simply ignored Nigel and kept digging in the pack’s side pocket.

“What’ve you got in there?” Evan asked, trying not to laugh.

“Salmon jerky,” Nigel said. “I thought it’d be good for hiking.”

“Well that explains it,” Evan said. “Leave it, Bentley.”

Hearing two of his least favorite words, Bentley reluctantly withdrew his head and looked up at Evan. Then he did what he always does when he’s been scolded. He apologized by sitting down and offering a paw to shake. When Nigel didn’t respond immediately, he scooted a little closer and pawed at Nigel’s leg, creating long brown streaks down the front of Nigel’s pressed white slacks.

“Bentley!” Nigel exclaimed, backing away.

The dismay in Nigel’s voice was enough to send Bentley scurrying behind my legs where he whined with confusion. “It’s okay, Bentley,” I said, patting his head. “Nigel’s just a clean freak. He’ll get over it.”

Nigel gave me a dirty look, grabbed his pack and said, “Can we go now?”

“Sure,” Evan said with a grin. “Follow me.”

The entrance to the Light House was at the top of a short flight of flagstone steps set into the rocky hillside that formed the building’s foundation. From the pier at the water’s edge, the house’s floor to ceiling glass windows towered over us like the walls of a fortress. But the closer we got, the less intimidating and the more charming the layout of the house became. “I’d hate to have to wash those windows,” Nigel said.

“Tell me about it,” Evan said. “And these aren’t the only ones. Wait until you see the other side of the house.”

By unspoken agreement the others hung back, allowing me to be the first to approach the door. Like the gate and fences at the entrance, it was crafted of cedar. But the wood of this door had been sanded and oiled to showcase the grain. I stepped up and ran the tips of my fingers over the central panel. The wood was warm and smelled faintly of cedar. It was the same smell that used to greet me when I walked into D’s office. “You okay?” Nigel asked from behind me.

“Just admiring the door,” I replied. It’s amazing, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” Nigel replied.

“I knew you’d love it,” Evan said, joining Nigel. “The door and I are old friends. I helped Richard and D build it after one of the oldest cedar trees on the property was hit by lightning.”

At this point, we were interrupted by Casey who was tired of waiting. “Come on, Aunt Maddy!” he said. “Let’s go inside. It’s hot out here!”

“Okay,” I agreed, reaching out and turning the handle. The door swung smoothly and soundlessly inward releasing a wave of cooler air.

“Yes!” Casey whooped, brushing past me and tossing his pack just inside the door where everyone was sure to trip over it. He was followed by Nigel and Evan who added their bags to the pile and disappeared into the shadowy interior.

“What do you think, Bentley?” I asked, scratching behind the big dog’s ears. Bentley leaned his body against my leg and sighed. “Yeah, I know what you mean,” I said. “I miss them too.”

A moment later Nigel stuck his head out the door. “You coming?” he asked.

“In a minute,” I replied. “Just letting it all sink in, if you know what I mean.”

“Of course,” Nigel said, stepping back outside to be with me.

“I mean, it feels kinda strange to be here. I feel like I’m invading their privacy or something.”

“But he left the house to you, Maddy. He wanted you to have it.”

“Everything okay out here?” Evan asked poking his head out the door. A quick look at my face must’ve told him all he needed to know. “Tell you what,” he said, “why don’t I take Nigel and Casey to pick up supplies for dinner at my place. That way you can have some time alone.”

“That would be great,” I said. “Would you mind, Nigel?”

“Not at all. Whatever you need,” Nigel said. “That’s why I’m here.”

“Okay good,” Evan said. “Let me go grab Casey and we’ll get out of your hair.” A few minutes later he and Casey re-emerged. “Okay, let’s go guys. We’ll be gone about an hour, Maddy.”

I waited until Evan, Nigel, and Casey had disappeared around the side of the house and I could no longer hear Bentley barking before stepping over the threshold into the house. Late afternoon sunlight was pouring into the room a few yards to my left, but the foyer was shadowy and cool. Directly in front of me were stairs leading, I assumed, up to the loft. To the right was a coat rack adorned with rain slickers, scarves, and a straw hat with fishing lures stuck to its brim. To the right of the rack was a large grandfather clock keeping time with a steady tick-tock, tick-tock. Beyond the clock was another wall of smaller windows offering a view of a patio of some kind.

The air in the foyer was infused with the smells of lemon furniture polish, dried herbs, and pipe tobacco. Though I’d never seen him smoke his pipe, D kept it prominently displayed on his office desk along with a small tin of something called “English Biscuit” tobacco, so this smell was also familiar and reassuring. “Hello D,” I whispered as I stepped further inside and closed the door. Where to go next?

I eventually turned left and walked into the large room we’d seen from the pier. There sunlight spilled through the floor-to-ceiling windows giving everything a warm glow. To my left, on the one solid wall in the room was a wood stove flanked on either side by photos of the Light House before it was furnished. Arranged in front of it were a tan overstuffed couch and matching armchair. On the console behind the couch sat a gold fish bowl and two happy looking bonsai trees.

I spent a few minutes admiring the view of the lake and surrounding trees before turning my attention to the tiny kitchen and dining island located at the other end of the room. It was there, sitting on the island, that I found the first of the surprises D had left - a gunmetal gray SONY Walkman with headphones. They were sitting beside a coffee maker and a mug stand. There was nothing else - no marker or note - but I knew.

The Walkman’s metal case was scuffed and scratched, and the plastic window above the tape compartment cracked, but I could see a tape inside. I picked the player up, hit the eject button, and removed the cassette. The original writing on the white label had been scribbled out with a blue ballpoint pen and the words, “FOR MADDY” printed in all caps beside it.

I carefully returned the cassette to the player, closed the lid, and picked up the headphones. They had a flexible metal headband and two small round speakers covered with protective black foam. It took me a few minutes to adjust the headband so the pads covered my ears, but then I sat down on one of the stools by the counter, plugged the headphone jack into the Walkman and hit play.

You made it!
This makes me inordinately happy since it means time will not have the last say after all. The Light House will live on in and through you, and with any luck at all you will come to feel as I did - that you belong to it as it belongs to you.

Links to the 7 previous chapters